Marriage is not a race; it is not something you have to achieve before you reach 30 or 40.
Marriage is not a decision you make as easy as you decide what to wear in the morning.
Marriage is not a game that you can quit whenever you like.
Marriage is neither about fulfilling your pride nor your parents'.
I must say it was a getaway ticket from my hectic working life. I have always wanted to visit Universal Studio Singapore since I moved here and eventually the day came when my friend planned to spend her holidays in Singapore.
I was extremely excited and it was indeed a great place to have fun! I experienced all attractions, especially the roller coasters. I didn't take many pictures so I'm planning to visit USS again.
As I grew up with mostly western cultures injected into the way I think or act, I have never thought that the word ‘fuck’ is as offensive or rude as many people think.
I hear it many times and it is only like any other words that I never pay attention to. Let us face it, nowadays, this word is as common as when say ‘hello’ or ‘hi’. Moreover, this word is quite flexible; it can be a noun, verb, or adjective. I smile when I listen to some songs cursing and swearing with that ‘fuck’ word. I laugh when those actors get angry and spit out the ‘fuck’ word everywhere. They have fun doing so. That is what I always think.
I never thought that when someone really means to say ‘fuck’, it hurts you. When this word got into my ears and shouted in front of my face, I was devastated. It really hurt me that I came to mind how this word destroys you and affects your feeling for the rest of that day. You cannot describe the feeling; the feeling that makes you cry and you cannot get any better after that.
Thus, to you, who like to use the ‘fuck’ word, even if it is just for fun, think about it. Think about the feeling you cause. It is not fun whatsoever.
I am going to tell a story.
One afternoon, a group of kids decide to build sand castles in the playing ground. They start to find spots to build their own castle. There is a little girl, eventually finds her spot to build the most beautiful castle she can ever imagine. Taking her time, she designs it carefully to make sure the castle is strong enough, though the wind comes and blows other castles away, her castle will stand still. She starts to build the foundation patiently and accurately.
One hour passes, all kids enjoy building their castles; some are finishing the foundations, some are still designing the castles, some decide to join their castles and build it together.
Another hour passes; the girl looks around to see how other kids are doing. Some have finished building their castles and started to decorate them. Some are still building them. Some are destroying their castles and trying to start all over again. She looks at her castle; it is half-built yet she believes it will be the strongest, most beautiful castle in the whole park. Every kid thinks the same as she does.
It is almost 6 o’clock. The little girl looks at the sky; it is orange. Most of the kids have finished their castles and are ready to go home. Some kids look frustrated and decide to leave their castles halfway. Some, including her, are still building their castles. Soon, parents are coming and call their children to go home. One by one leaves the playing ground as it is getting dark. Putting a small red flag on the peak, a boy finishes his castle and goes to his parents, leaving the little girl with her castle, unfinished. She stands up, looks around and sees lots of castles. None of these castles look the same; most of them are unique and admirable, some are carelessly built and some are left half-built. She looks at her castle eagerly; she wants to stay and finishes it. She wants it to be perfectly built and beautifully stands but the sky is dark and her parents calling out her name.
Can I finish my castle? I know it is dark, yet the park lamps will light my sight. I know it is about time to go, yet I am big enough to find my way back home…
Reading this article made me think of where I would want to spend the rest of my life.
At present, I am working in Singapore and I could not be more grateful than this. I was always seeking opportunities to work overseas. It has been eight months since I arrived here and I am not planning to eventually return to Indonesia in the near future, yet I tell myself I will return to my home after four or five years and be with my family again.
I would say that living and working overseas are tempting. You get a better pay, better standard of living, and better environment; generally speaking, a better life is waiting. Alas, things are not as appealing as I have heard in a seminar I attended about working overseas. A better living equals more expectations and hard work. I struggled hard to meet the expectations. I pushed myself up that I could do this. I am not going to give up and return to my parents with nothing. At the end, I managed to overcome the difficulties. Now that I eventually find it appealing living and working overseas, I am questioned if I still yearn for returning back to my home country and starting all over again.
I would honestly say I have a better life and feel secure. I still remember when the 1998 riots in Jakarta took place; my mother dressed me up so I would look like any other native kids at school. The TV was on all day just to make sure our neighbourhood would not be the next target. We lived in fear from day to day. I was way too small to realize the consequences of living in Indonesia as a minority. As I grew up, the insecurity, somehow, haunted me and urged me to leave this country no matter how.
At first, I found living in Singapore hard. I hardly made any friends; I could not find someone to talk with, to share what I felt. I was still attached with my family and friends in Indonesia. Never did I imagine spending my life in a country where companionship and empathy are nowhere to find. I was alone. Yet the multicultural society and feeling of security comforted me. I no longer find myself as a minority. The more I experience living here, the harder I picture myself staying in Indonesia and spending my life there.
I am not saying I have lost my sense of nationalism towards my home country. I am proud of being an Indonesian, especially at this stage of my life; a stage of experiencing living overseas. What I have lost is the eagerness to live there. If you are given chances to learn and experience more, why wait? I have the chance to fulfill one by one of my dreams. I learn to be an independent person. I can afford things that I was longing to have. I have the chance to study again. I learn to stand with my own feet. The more I live here, the more dreams I believe I can actualize.
If that so, why should I return to my home country and start from the scratch? I am still finding the possible answer. Until then, let the comfort and security I have now pamper me still…
To future me,
In about eight hours I will meet you, but before that I decide to write you what I have been through so far so that you will get the picture of what you will be facing and hopefully are preparing for it.
Well, I start from the beginning of the year when I was offered a job in a design firm. I was so excited. It took me nearly two hours to reach my office yet I did not complain. I enjoyed working with some creative people. For a while, I thought, this is it, this is where I’m going to start my career as a professional.
Like I always tell you, life is unpredictable; sometimes things do not work according to your plan. Out of the blue sky, I got the opportunity to work overseas. It was like a dream come true as I always dream to live outside the box and experience every single moment of it. That would be the first time ever I was far from my family and friends, yet I always convinced myself that I can do it. Just like a bird, I flapped my wings, flew and left the nest for the first time.
You would probably wonder if I have ever felt homesick. I was too excited to feel homesick at first. I was too happy to leave the nest and eventually live on my own. Everything seemed so bright, easy and friendly; I was flattered. Well, here comes the rain. I realized it was not as easy as I thought. I started to find it difficult to communicate with others. I was looked down as I did not meet their expectations. Things seemed to be against me. I was alone. I was lonely. I dared myself not to cry yet I could not help it. You are probably thinking that I am weak, well, sometimes when you try hard to tell yourself not to care about what people think about you, it turns out you feel worse and it is better to just let it burst into tears.
Have I grown to be a better person? I would say yes, I have. Especially, I have grown to be a better person spiritually. I have grown a greater faith in God and believed that everything that happened in my life is God’s way to make me a better person. I have been through a lot of good or difficult times. I am not trying to brag here but I have learnt a lot; I learnt to communicate better with people, to stand up when I fell down, to live my life as it is a gift from God.
Future me, 2011 is already here. I will not tell you what you should do to face the new year. I believe you know what is best for you. I believe you have learnt a lot from the past. I am pretty sure I have done my homework in 2010 and now it is your turn to start doing yours. Just promise me one thing: lean on God in everything you do; keep your faith in Him and everything will be just right. I wish you luck in 2011.
Love, present me.
Before you answer that question, read these words carefully:
Maturity is patience; it’s willingness to pass up immediate pleasure for long-term gain. It’s the ability to “sweat it out” in spite of heavy opposition or discouraging setback. It’s the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration without complaining or collapsing.
Maturity is humility. It’s being big enough to say “I was wrong,” and when you’re right, never needing to say “I told you so.”
Maturity is the ability to make a decision and follow through on it, instead of exploring endless possibilities and doing nothing about any of them.
Maturity means dependability, keeping your word and coming through in a crisis. The immature are masters of alibi; they are confused and disorganized. Their lives are a maze of broken promises, former friends, unfinished business, and good intentions.
Maturity is the art of being at peace with what you can’t change, having the courage to change what you can change, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Are you maturing?
Extracted from “The Word for Today” by Rhema Broadcasting Group
Yesterday, out of the blue sky I listened to some Indonesian songs on Youtube. I didn’t know why but I felt like I wanted to. Then I found this amazing song which I wanted to listen long time ago. The title is Malaikat Juga Tahu by Dewi ‘Dee’ Lestari. It means angels would know, too. This song is written by the singer herself and also a part of the singer’s novel, Recto Verso.
Truth to say, I wasn’t interested in the works of Dewi ‘Dee’ Lestari; in fact, I’m not fond of any Indonesian’s writers, yet after listened to the song, I googled the lyric and found out it was a visualization of a story from her novel. I also found other novels written by Dee, which my friend recommended me to read them. Reading some opinions and comments from the readers of those novels, I told myself, “I need to get those books soon when I go back to Jakarta!”
Those three novels I'm going to get: Filosofi Kopi, Rectoverso, and Perahu Kertas. I don’t know if I’m going to like those novels, but now… I desperately want to read them! >_<"
I wasn’t thinking of anything when I took a paper and drew this tiny little boy; I draw when I'm bored. It was only for fun. Then I looked at his face and started to smile… What if one day, you hear a knock on your door and when you open it, there’s someone bashfully holding a bouquet of flowers and smiling towards you? What will you do? How do you feel?
It’s been five months since the first time I arrived Singapore and the first place I visited was the Singapore Zoo. Why the zoo? Because it’s been a long time since the last time I visited the zoo in my hometown, 15 years ago I guess.
It was all fun and exciting! The weather was cool. Singapore Zoo is incredibly amazing! I couldn’t stop walking and taking pictures. It brought me back to my childhood where I was so excited to see animals. I have this thought that you haven’t been to the zoo if you haven’t met these animals: giraffes, zebras, and elephants. So I managed to see those animals and took some pictures of them to officially say that I’ve been to this zoo :)
Oh, I forgot to mention that I went there with Meri (on the right) and Nur, my very first friends here because I live together with them, so it doubled the fun! See the giraffe? Cute, right? For me, all animals are cute, except snakes and reptiles... I will definitely go to Singapore Zoo again! Would you like to accompany me?
